Friday, 26 June 2009

Bad/Funny Michael Jackson Jokes

Please feel free to add your Michael Jackson jokes.

here's a few to get you started:

It's a conspiracy that Michael Jackson died of a heart attack.
Apparently the truth is that he had a stroke at a children's hospital.

Michael Jackson's London dates have been cancelled.
Daniel aged 9, Robert aged 7, Carl Aged 6... etc.

In honour of Michael Jackson they are bringing out a range of bendy toy figures.
A spokesman for Touch-Up Toys said "It's now time for the kids to play with him!"


Anonymous said...

Farrah Fawcett ascended to Heaven where she met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Ah, Farrah, I am a great admirer of yours from your day in 'Charlies Angels' and to show my appreciation I will grant you one wish"

"Oh, thank you" declared Farrah, "if there is one thing I could wish for it is that every child should be free of fear and danger"

"So it shall be done" said St. Peter.

A few hours later Michael Jackson was taken off the mortal coil!

Anonymous said...

What is the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?

One is white, made of plastic and a hazard to kids...the other is made for carrying your groceries home!!

Anonymous said...

The coroner thinks food poisoning may have had a part to play in M. Jackson's demise, as he'd been nibbling 11 year-old nuts!

Anonymous said...

Jackson said he wished to come back as a ghost on the children's ward if he and when he died because he still wanted to give the kids the willies!

Anonymous said...

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing

Q: What do Michael Jackson and the New York Mets have in common?
A: They're both walking around with one glove on their hand for no apparent reason whatsoever!!

Anonymous said...

Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off !!

Q: What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand !!

Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!!

Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand !!

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy !!

Anonymous said...

Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house!!

Q: Heard about Michael Jackson's new songs?
A: I'm forever blowing bubbles!

Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Little boy blue!
Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson!!

Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding have decided to begin training racehorses together?
A: Yeah, she's gonna do all the handicapping and he's gonna ride all the three-year-olds!

Q: Why does Michael Jackson arrange for private shopping?
A: So his guests won't be accompanied by guardians!

Anonymous said...

Q:Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?
A:He doesn't mind reaching bottom.

Q:What's Michael's favorite Canadian TV show?
A:The Kids in the Hall.

Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!

`Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster?
~The bread goes in brown, and comes out white.

`What does Michael Jackson call a circumcision?

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.

`What does Michael Jackson reminisce about when he gets nostalgic?
~Blowing his first nose.

Q: What's the difference between Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson?
A: Richard Pryor got burnt on coke, Michael Jackson got burnt onPepsi!

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Anonymous said...

Michael said to Debbie one night, "I fancy someentertainment, what shall we do?". To which Debbie replied " I know we'll get a video".Michael then said " Great, Ill get Aladdin".Debbie said speedily "No Michael, You have beenin trouble for that before"

Anonymous said...

Prince Michael Jackson, Jr. --- you know in a few years they'll probably change his name to:The Child Formerly Known as Michael Jackson's Baby

Michael Jackson had a boy. He also became a father!

He asked his wife's doctor how soon after the birth could he have sex.
The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at least 12 or 13 years old.

`What do Michael Jackson & Michael Jordan have in common?
~They both play ball in the Minor League.

`What's the difference between them?
~One is in the Minors, the other is into Minors.

`Why was Michael Jackson relieved of his Cub Scout Leader duties?
~He was up to a pack a day.

Anonymous said...

`What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
~Michael Jackson has had more noses.

Anonymous said...

BurgerKing are bringing out a Michael Jackson tribute burger, it will consist of 50 year old meat placed between two 7 year old buns!!

Anonymous said...

how do you know it is bed time at neverland ranch? When the big hand is on the little hand!

Only in america can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman!

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