BNP Leadership Election: Great Way to Save a Lot of Trouble

I am determined to save the BNP a lot of trouble!

You see the BNP is on the verge of a leadership election and this seems to be causing not a little upset to some. Blogs have appeared with character assassinations of the contender. Members have been threatened not to sign his nominations (with expulsions as far as I can tell - despite his attempt to stand being within the rules). Election campaigners have been warned against involving the contender (despite him being the election agent for the council election candidate!).

There is an air of incrimination, claim and counter claim in the air, with a "secret video" of the contender "drunk in a brothel" which he disputes. Conversely the contender claims he has exposed corruption and maladministration in the BNP leadership including misuse or misappropriation of hundreds of thousands of pounds.

It is all very grubby and must be very disheartening for the average BNP activist (who I believe the Commies disparagingly call "grunts").

So what to do?

Well, in Germany they have a Wunderwaffen that would make Der Fuhrer spill his morning tea.

Yes!

Let's get Paul the Octopus in on the job!

He has correctly predicted the German games up until now, and has predicted that Spain will win the final.

If Spain do indeed win might I suggest that the BNP leadership, or the contender, send pictures of the two candidates for the chairmanship of the BNP to Paul's owners at Oberhausen Sea Life Aquarium and the cognitive cephalopod can come to a conclusion that both candidates can adhere to.

Just imagine, just two little pics of two would be BNP leaders and all the nastiness, all the threats, all the smear blogs, all the abuse of "Neo-Nazi" forums, all the kerfuffle and the cost of the election could be overcome.

And for any would-be Churchill xenophobes, fearful that association with Le Boche might have Nazi overtones, fear not Colonel Blinks, Paul the Octopus was born in the UK and was moved to the German aquarium. So Paul the Octopus is... er.... a Brit!

Rule Britannia!

And as we all know, Britannia rules the waves (you may salute the queen at this stage) so whatever sea bed he was lifted from, we may presume he is British anyway.

Unless he was bred in captivity in a Muslim country! Oh dear.

But let's assume he is a Brit and so is perfectly suited to the contest.

Over to you Messrs. Griffin and Butler.

Come on! You know it makes sense.